Fear

[Karl Westerhof]

I haven't felt so much righteous indignation in a long time as I feel toward the govt of Myanmar these days. How can they do such a thing? how can they put securtiy ahead of the welfare of hundreds of thousands of people for whom they are responsible? How can they create such a bottleneck for the flow of resources? How can they be so obtuse as to proceed with their political process while uncounted people wander around in shattered lives? Suddenly it occurred to me that they are afraid. They cannot make good decisions because they are afraid. They cannot perceive their duty; they cannot perceive the reality of the need because they are afraid. And suddenly I could identify. How many times in my life has fear kept me from doing the "right" thing.... the "righteous" thing.... the just thing. Fear not - words found in the bible more than any other direct instruction. But fear keeps me from living a Kingdom life.... too often. Fear. of what? that my own welfare, my own comfort, my own convenience, my own security, will be breached. Not a pretty confession to make. You'd think I'd have outgrown it. But not... So what's the opposite of fear? what's the thing I need to nurture in my life, and pray about, and work on, and trust God for....? oh yeah -- trust.

[Beth DeGraff]

I can echo most of these sentiments after watching the news reports and being unutterably frustrated knowing for a day, and then two days, and then a week, that while there is little information coming out of Myanmar, people are suffering and dying.

As I gratefully participated in communion this morning, I couldn't keep my mind from the fact that while I was praising God for his great goodness to me, people buried under rubble were calling the name of a God they don't know and asking for mercy -- which may be the same as asking for their last breath.

Even though I listened to U.N. officials last week say that expressing anger toward the Myanmar government wasn't going to help get aid to people, I wasn't ready to let go of being angry. I had the same questions -- How could they hold a referendum? It goes beyond being heartless and cruel toward the situations we label "great evil."

And then I realized this morning that during the bread and the wine, I was holding my own little referendum -- one I thankfully have no right to -- in a beautiful sanctuary among my faith family in middle America. With God telling me to stop wasting both of our time trying to do things I was not created to do.

Some people who know me even superficially seem to be able to tell that I have a thing about time. For me, time is both/and....It's urgent, my life is short -- there is only so much of it, so I want to do the most with what God gives me to do with the time I have. And, time is God's, not mine...so it's not my responsibility, it's his. I can trust that....but I'm still afraid of the kingdom-maker within me.