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Posted on April 25th, 2008 at 2:57pm —
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Do you see an HM tie in?
OK, so here's the thing - travel for me has been virtually zero in this position.... only one trip in 3 years. and THIS year is my last year in this position. I'm stepping down by Dec latest. What then? I don't know. I might retire, or I might not.... It all depends on what's available. But it's for sure that this year is my last year inthis role. so travel is highly unlikely .... it's a very busy year.
Also, in February our daughter Sarah who is 37 was diagnosed with acute lymphoid leukemia. So that has made the past few months even more busy. she's been in chemo pretty intensely, and has been dealing with the spiritual and psychological sides of things as well as the physical. She had surgery for obesity (you know that bariatric thing) in Sept, and was recovered nicely from that, but then in January started feeling so tired. so her life has been pretty intense.... and ours too. But I can testify that God is good, and even in this he's been faithful and wonderful.
I just LOVE looking at your family pic.
kw
Matt
I don't think I've met the pastor at Kibbie. We had a Kibbie member serve on the board for We Care I.N.C. last year, but her term expired, and Kibbie is not currently represented (I am currently V.P. of the Board). Would you say Kibbie and their pastor is into social justice? I am thinking about getting some churches to coordinate a South Haven Tents Of Hope event.
That's what my 37 year old daughter said several times this weekend. she's commenting on being back in the hospital as she travels the chemo sickness road after being diagnosed with leukemia a little over a month ago.
A bolt from the blue - you have acute lymophoid leukemia. And now after a month of feeling just fine while in the hospital having round one of chemo, she's feeling really bad because the chemo seems to have caused her liver to enlarge and go off the rails (temporarily?).
So what's not fair? is she talking about getting the leukemia? No. What's not fair, she says, is that she has to be in the hospital when she wants so badly to be home in her own rooms, with her cats and husband (in that order?), and instead has to endure a hospital bed with a wretched mattress.
but of course - when I hear the phrase ITS NOT FAIR, my justice ears perk up, and I start to try to generalize.... or maybe just philosophize.
anyhow, here's the thing - my daughter has cancer. and even though I heard the diagnosis over a month ago, I'm still trying to "get it". and that makes me think about all the people in the world who are suffering and trying to "get it".... asking why, and why me, and how long O Lord, and saying ITS NOT FAIR. and it's not.
Will this make Sarah a better person? will it make me a better person? Will it deepen our trust? will it strengthen our faith? will it make a stronger bond between us?
I see God at work in Sarah's life... and in my life... and in my marriage.... in ways I haven't seen before. I "get it" that God often works in and through the dark times and the white water. And I experience it now, and am thankful. Liz and I are very clear that God is present with us in his power and love and grace - and absolute trustworthiness. We confess it and we feel it. The Heidelburg Catechism says that God will avert all evil or turn it to our profit. That's a pretty big claim! I claim it, joining in with the Heidelburger.
I surely don't know whether my faith will be strong next week, or tomorrow morning.... probably doesn't matter. What matters is that God is faithful. How simple is that?!
So.... ten days ago the first round of chemo ended, and it had done just what it was supposed to do.... and today Sarah's liver isn't working right, probably because of the chemo. and so she's back in the hospital and feeling worse than when she was on the chemo.
There's so much stuff that's wrong with the world! Sin sucks, and its effects are pernicious and persistant and penetrating. I want my daughter healthy. And I want peace in Sudan. And I've been angry with God in the past year because he's been letting so much suffering happen - in Iraq, in Uganda, Kenya, Sudan, and on and on and on. And I haven't wanted to talk to him so much.
And now Sarah has cancer and I want to be as close to him as I can get. I need him.
Injustice has a new prayer in my heart - for Sarah to be able to be home with Jason and her cats for a while before the next round of chemo begins.
And I'm going to start praying about Sudan again too. I don't know what else to do.
Karl
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